This novel grabs you with suspense from the very first page. It opens with a haunting line: a girl reflects on getting a B in math, asking her mom for a tutor, and wonders, if she’d known the chain of events that one decision would unleash, would she have chosen differently?
I remember thinking: Okay, it can’t be that bad.
Well… I was dead wrong. The intrigue pulled me in so deeply, I stayed up past midnight on a Friday just to find out how one innocent request for a tutor spiraled into tragedy.
For most of the book, I was convinced Ellie was not dead and she would show up eventually, and almost certain her tutor, Noelle, had killed her(if she were in fact dead). At one point, I was 100% sure Floyd was the real villain; that he’d manipulated Noelle into doing his bidding.
Lisa Jewell, you really pulled one over on me.
I went from deeply suspicious of Floyd to thinking: Thank you for ridding the world of Noelle.
And oh, Noelle! She made me furious. She painted her family as cruel and cold, but when Laurel speaks to Noelle’s nephew, we learn her parents, though strict, were actually loving. That contrast made me pause: Can two siblings experience the same parents differently? Because her brothers adored their parents. It made me reserve judgment… for a moment.
What truly enraged me was how Noelle tried to justify her actions, blaming Floyd as if she had no agency. I wanted to scream at her:
“You know you have free will, right? It’s okay to want someone who doesn’t want you back; just move on! You’re smart. Take a sabbatical. Move cities. Use your savings. Do anything to find your way back to yourself… but don’t drag innocent people through your bullshit, Noelle!”
Yes, she brought up very strong feelings in me.
The truth of how Ellie died unraveled me. And what broke my heart even more, on Laurel’s behalf, was realizing how close her daughter was, yet utterly out of reach. That moment would crack anyone wide open.
As for Hanna ending up with Ellie’s ex… I’m still conflicted. There are so many men in the world –why him?! I haven’t fully made peace with that choice.
All in all, I’d give this novel a 9/10. The twist where I was absolutely certain Floyd was the villain, only to discover he killed Noelle not out of malice, but to stop her from harming others was masterful. In a strange way, it felt like vengeance for Ellie.
Still… I hate how it ended for him.
Sweet, sweet Floyd.
Noelle’s actions made me question: what line do humans cross to the point they start to justify the very act of taking an innocent life? Even more, do we realize it when we cross said line?
lifewithfelly 
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